A Review of Mondo’s Katamari Damacy Double LP

Article May 31, 2018 David Hill
I write sentences about myself to appear more authoritative

It’s 6:30pm on a Tuesday. This is the absolute worst time to start writing.

I’m checking to see how much daylight I have left. I’m struggling, despite wearing an Apple Watch, gripping my iPhone, and sitting at a computer desk with three monitors and always-on internet. Before frustration sets in I opt to google “sunset” (on my phone for some reason).

Damn it; there’s less than two hours. I don’t feel very good about myself.

I really feel like I should be outside right now. I tell myself that while listening to my wife and daughter talking in the other room. They just got home ten minutes ago, and as a dad I should actually be in there, but somehow that doesn’t seem as productive to me right now. I need to accomplish something. like going outside – or writing. Ugh. Writing. I’m supposed to write about Mondo’s Katamari Damacy LP that released in April. It’s a really good album, but that’s not enough. I have to explain WHY it’s good and back that up with even more words. But I don’t know if that’s going to happen so I’ll start with the facts.

I successfully snagged two pre-orders from Mondo’s website before they sold out. I did everything right. I logged in early, I kept refreshing the item page, I stored my credit card info ahead of time. Boom. It worked, and I felt as excited as a 10-year old kid getting a mysterious brown package in the mail. But I’ve learned that growing up changes your perception in subtle ways you won’t necessarily notice until later. Even if you don’t feel it.

For instance, I don’t know when the excitement of receiving an unmarked brown package morphed into a fear of the unknown (what if it’s a bomb?!) or when going outside became an action item that makes me fight with myself. And I don’t really know when seeing Katamari Damacy sitting on the shelf with the rest of my record collection started making me sad – but it happened. Though I can give a rough time frame of when it probably occurred.

Mondo’s Katamari Damacy is a great album. Seriously. The original artwork by We Buy Your Kids is stylistically on-point, and the swirling multicolored discs are heavy, balanced, and extremely clean. Though disc two’s red and white swirl looks more like a fat cut of steak than anything else, really. It seems kind of strange, but not in a “Katamari” way. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure once you see it you can’t “un-see” it.

Dang it. It’s 7:00 now. Maybe I should take the Osmo Mobile 2 gimbal out just for a few minutes. I got it this week. I could do some research for a future review and get some of those endorphins or whatever from being outside. It’s “endorphins” right? I don’t know. Maybe that’s just from exercise. I know vitamin D is good for me… shit. The sun is past the tree line. Is it still worth going outside at this point? Ah, that reminds me I still need to get a head lamp so I can ride my Boosted Board at night. It’s too unsafe so I’ll leave it parked for now. I’ll hop on Amazon shortly. I just need to write a few more sentences.

Though disc two’s red and white swirl looks more like a fat cut of steak than anything else, really. It seems kind of strange, but not in a “Katamari” way.

But maybe I should write about more than just Katamari. Maybe this would be more interesting if I talked about all the Mondo albums! Portal, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Drive, Magnolia– …wait. I sold Drive and Magnolia last week. Dang it. It turns out vinyl collecting is an expensive hobby and you have to finance it somehow. That’s why I started flipping. It’s the perfect way to making buying all the records you want viable. Sometimes profitable. And that’s why it’s really important to keep these records immaculate – so I can get the most money when I sell them.

That makes it kind of difficult to talk about Katamari’s gatefold artwork. I mean… logistically difficult. I have to keep it sealed for its “value”, you know? Besides, there’s a picture of it on the Mondo webpage I’ve seen and it looks great. It’s also a good idea not to play these albums very often because over time that will wear down the vinyl grooves and distort the sound quality. I can’t let that happen. I like the record too much; and this version is out of print now.

That’s why I only played the Katamari Damacy record once.

It’s 7:12 now. This is the worst review ever. I have to go outside. Maybe reset. I should go out there or I can’t justify buying those three skateboards earlier this Spring. (Long story.)
Dang it. My family is going for a walk. I’m not really sure if I have a board that will work for that. I’m going to take the Carver and catch up with them. This black top is too rough to ride, though. I’ll just carry it, maybe? Agh! This does not feel like fun.

I’m taking a walk.

I think it’s stupid to buy a crappy oversized camera that takes even crappier photos …but I collect vinyl records.

7:20 now. I changed my mind. I have no momentum out there. There’s always tomorrow; I’ll go outside then. I should text my wife, though. I told her I was running back inside for my phone while she was talking to a neighbor. I don’t mind ditching this walk. I can tell she wants to try out her new $70 Polaroid camera, but It’s going be too dark to get decent photos. I think it’s stupid to buy a crappy oversized camera that takes even crappier photos …but I collect vinyl records. That’s definitely in my head now, and I think that’s why Katamari is making me sad.

But it’s not Katamari. My vinyl collection is making me sad.

When I started listening to vinyl I became excited hearing new sounds within old records. The first time I actually heard “there is no dark side of the moon” at the end of Pink Floyd’s “DSOTM” (you know what I’m talking about so I’m not going to type it) I was blown away. And on some strange level, uncovering a collection of previously unheard, “buried-in-1’s-and-0’s” auditory bits of ecstasy became a strange albeit worthy sort of quest. I felt like I was experiencing music for the first time, again. I invested my time, money, passion – maybe other things – procuring all the albums that were most precious to me. The albums that would surely feed my hunger for more background chatter, more hi-fi out-of-tune guitars, and more spittle churning beneath a jazz trumpet solo.

In my first year I purchased well over four-hundred albums, totaling somewhere in the range of $6-10k if you believe Discogs. The escapade ate up a metric shit-ton of my personal resources, but it actually did something far worse to me. It took away the music. Searching for the records I wanted became increasingly difficult (read: frustrating), and the zeros in the price tags kept multiplying. It didn’t take twelve months for buying a record to stop being an exciting, sentimental experience. It became a baseless act devoid of pleasure. (Kind of like Dustin Hoffman and Mrs. Robinson’s relationship in The Graduate.) Buying an album was step one in the cycle: Buy, Get a Taste, Recoup the investment.

And somewhere in there Katamari Damacy arrived in the mail. It’s a record that still excites me to think about because I LOVED that game. And I conceptually adore the idea of the album. (Lol. That’s the worst review sentence ever.)

I’d be comfortable saying Katami Damacy is one of my favorite games of all time. And the music – my God, the first time I heard the music! It was absolutely incredible with its originality. It did things – it mixed genres in ways I didn’t even think were allowed. More recently, it was akin to hearing BabyMetal for the first time. You might not know if you love it or hate it, but you know you haven’t heard anything like it; and it’s going to get stuck in your head.

And I believe that’s why looking at the album makes me sad. It’s everything I could ever want in a Katamari Damacy album – great packaging, sonically impressive recordings, extremely colorful vinyl, AND exclusivity. Yet I can’t bring myself to enjoy the damn thing. I haven’t even taken the cellophane off.

That’s why I need to reset. I need to get outside. Taste the fresh air. Experience life!

It’s everything I could ever want in a Katamari Damacy album – great packaging, sonically impressive recordings, extremely colorful vinyl, AND exclusivity. Yet I can’t bring myself to enjoy the damn thing. I haven’t even taken the cellophane off.

And I’ll be able to do that soon thanks to an anamorphic lens I backed on Kickstarter! (It should be here in a month or so.) I’m going to be outside seeing the world from new angles. It’s going to be amazing and I absolutely can’t wait.

It’s 8:00 now. The sun has set for all practical purposes. I finally have my “outside” plans and I’ll be ready to go next month. Awesome. That means I still have plenty of time to finish playing God of War. Or who knows… I might flip a few more albums.

Ah, I feel good about myself again.

David Hill

Author & Collector

David Hill writes footnotes about himself to make his work appear more authoritative. He lives in a condo that he shares with his wife and daughter, but has no animals due to the outrageous pet deposits at his complex and the lack of backyard.

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